“I hate you because if I didn’t I’d love you.”

*spoilers and a few days late*

Well we finally understood why Crowley was in a onesie, receiving a Sam Pop Head for Christmas while Rowena wore a red nose and Lucifer was Santa…it was all a dream! Sam wasn’t the only one Lucifer was talking to. He began sending messages to Rowena and they have been in cahoots the entire time. Why did the runes stop working and Lucifer was able to get Sam in the cage? Because Rowena wanted him to.

She tells this to Crowley who isn’t happy because like the rest of us, knows if Lucifer gets a vessel and can walk on earth it only means apocalypse part 2. Because this is such a bad thing he contacts Dean, but not until after Dean tries to contact him.

Dean is trying to get to Sam and we hear a funny voicemail Dean left on Sam’s phone, but it’s just as funny as Crowely’s which involves pressing numbers. Dean gets sick and Cas shows up because he always comes when Dean calls. Dean has “smiting sickness” after the big bright light that blasted Amara. Apparently it wasn’t God, just a bunch of angels trying to get rid of her. Cas decides to go and see if Amara survived, leaving Dean to get better.

Meanwhile Lucifer is trying to get Sam to say yes. He takes Sam through some memories of when he had balls and actually did things. From a teenage Sam to when he fell into the cage. I thought it was hilarious when we got to Amelia and Lucifer saying, “this is the worst thing you’ve ever done,” because I have to agree. Nothing against her character, but holy shit I couldn’t stand the Sam x Amelia season. Basically Lucifer was saying this is when Sam got soft. He and Dean stopped caring about saving the world and only wanted to save each other. From closing the gates of Hell to Sam going through hell to rid Dean of the mark, they stopped choosing the world and only choose each other and yeah he has a point.

Cas is walking through the bomb site and comes across another angel: Ambriel. She says she’s basically a desk secretary. She doesn’t think anything’s up until Cas points out it’s dark, but the middle of the afternoon. They trek together until she points out that they’re expendable. Dean and Sam are the real heroes and Cas is just there to be sacrificed.

Dean gets a call from Crowley and he tells Dean what’s going on. Dean goes to a building that also has an entrance to Hell being guarded by Billie the reaper. She gives Dean a box and sends him through a door. Dean meets up with Crowley and I being to wonder: is this the first time Dean’s been in hell since he was sent there? Going through the seasons I think it is.

We find out a “witch cather” is in the box and Crowley plans on using it against Rowena to make her do his bidding. Rowena tells Crowley she knew Dean was there since she put a hex bag in his pocket and listened to everything. However Crowley is just as clever and had her tea spiked, therefore allowing him to put the catcher around her neck. Now she can do a spell and send Lucifer back down to his real cage.

Photo: CW

Cas and Ambriel split up and she comes across Amara’s body who is not dead. She sucks out Ambriel’s grace, filling her up with juice and brining the darkness back into her body instead of floating around the area making it dark. She wants to do the same to Cas but figures he’s not worth it anymore. Instead she carves a message onto his chest and sends him to Billie who will send him into hell. He shows the message to Dean and Crowley which says: I am coming.

Dean and Cas go to rescue Sam from Lucifer’s beat down after Sam continues to refuse Lucifer. Lucifer gets them all in the cage and it’s 3-1, with Lucifer winning. Every time you think Lucifer will end someone, someone else jumps in to save them. The spell is done right before Lucifer is about to kill Cas. He’s sent back into his cage and everyone gets out unharmed. But do they?

Photo: Cw

You can tell right away something is wrong with Cas. He’s not acting right and even Dean can tell and you want to yell into the screen, “Hello! Guys! Something is obviously wrong here!” but they drive off any way.

Crowley and Rowena are having a moment. Crowley wants to know why Rowena hates him so much and she gives us a bit of a backstory: Crowley’s father was cheating with Rowena who wasn’t a witch yet. He told her he loved her but left after that. When she looks at Crowley she sees the person she was before magic and finally she says, “If I didn’t hate you I’d love you.” It’s a pretty emotional scene that is interrupted by Cas returning to hell.

Everyone is confused until he starts acting weird and they soon realize it’s not Cas, it’s Lucifer! What?

So before Lucifer was sent back Cas asks if he can destroy the Darkness. Lucifer says yes and Cas says yes. So Lucifer and Cas are sharing a vessel? That’s what I assume.

Rowena is ecstatic and Cas/Lucifer (Casifer?) take the catcher off her neck. You cringe because it looks like they’re about to make out but he asks if she’s the only one who knows how to put him back in the cage. She says yes and he snaps her neck. Holy shit they killed off Rowena! And I’m a little upset. I know she always got in the way, but she was still a pretty good character and her and Crowley’s interactions were always great.

So now Lucifer can walk the earth and kill all the angels. Well shit.

Photo: CW