The monster showed up after midnight. As they do.

But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the one he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming…

I wasn’t expecting to do this review -if that’s what I want to call it- tonight, but I just finished the book and feel weird inside.

And when a book makes you feel torn up, broken, and yet inspired it’s worth talking about.

Conor O’Maley is dealing with life. His mom is dying, his dad moved away, and at school he feels more alone than ever. To top it all off a nightmare has plagued him for a long time until one night a different monster shows up. One that is old, wise, and comes when those need help.

To talk about a subject such as death isn’t one that I tackle often. When I feel, I feel hard. I’m sensitive, I’ll admit it. But this kills me.

And the monster wants Conor, you, and me to see that grief, that hurt, and let it come forth. He wants you to seek the truth, no matter how hard it could be to see.

*Please note I just wrote over 500 words about all the death I’ve dealt with in my life and deleted it. Mainly because I know this isn’t the post to be talking about it, but I think typing it out helped, even though it was deleted.*

In the end, you never know when it’s going to happen. I’ve dealt with death that happened out of nowhere and death, like Conor, that made you wait, made you want it to be over. As horrible as it sounds, you want to let them go, because you know they won’t get better.

I’m not sure what’s worse. People deal with these things differently and it’s more of an opinion. To me, it’s those unexpected ones. You don’t have time to process, it’s already there. And yet at the same time you get the grieving over with. It’s done. It’s the ones that make you realize (as cliche as it sounds) you never know what could happen.

This book is making me trail off and talk about death, but I think that’s the point. Emotions that subsided or never got the chance to come out, they come out. Emotions you haven’t felt in years, emotions you’re trying to hold in.

This book also makes you realize in life, there are no good or bad people. Most of us are just in between. You don’t want to be invisible and yet there are worse things than being that. Can there possibly be such a thing as a good AND bad witch? It gets you thinking and soon you start to wonder if a monster exists, because if he could get me to say my truth, well I’d love that cause I don’t even know what it is.

Give it a read, I highly recommend it. Not only are the illustrations beautiful, but there’s even humor…in the beginning. It’s not all sad and life-thinking. Even in the hard times we can still smile, still laugh

I don’t want to try to dissect this book. There’s so many layers, so many ways you can take it. But like I said I do recommend it, I really do.

And hey, it’s coming out in theaters this October so seriously read it before then.