The last few months have been a lot of crocheting, a lot of working on myself, and now I’m tired.

Trigger Warning: anxiety, medication, mental health in general, weight gain, body dysmorphia

Past Posts: Starting Sertraline, One-Month Update

Five Months Later

It’s weird to think at the beginning of the year I didn’t know if my anxiety would get any better and I’d spend every day in an anxiety attack. It feels like it didn’t happen, even thought it was 4-5 months with only a few breaks in between.

Now that I’ve been on Sertraline for five months, my anxiety is the best it’s ever been.

It’s still there, which is good because I need it, but I’m having an easier time dealing with it when I might wake up one morning feeling more anxious. I had a dentist appointment recently and was only a little anxious right before the appointment, whereas I might have spent the entire day anxious before.

It’s not just giving my anxiety a break, but allowing me to handle it better.

Side Effects?

I have had one side effect, and another potential side effect.

Affected by the Heat

I didn’t know when starting my medication that I could be effected by the heat more than I have before. People can also get sunburnt more easily and dehydrated faster, which thankfully, I haven’t dealt with.

But I spent a day at Hershey Park last month, and usually I’m fine walking through an amusement park, but I had to stop and rest because I was feeling overheated at times, or just sitting at home and needing to have a fan on me almost all day.

Luckily, I already drink a lot of water and haven’t had any bad reactions, so I’m just trying to be more aware of it.

Weight Gain

While I was dealing with my anxiety for 4-5 months, I lost over 20 pounds from not eating/not moving, so I lost a lot of muscle. Since then, I am eating regularly and working out, so I’ve gained all that weight back…and then some.

My doctor said it’s possible some of it could be from the medication, but I’ve also been working on strength, and honestly, I haven’t eaten the greatest during certain times, like over the holidays.

Now, I’m someone who’s dealt with body issues since I was 9, so for 20/29 years of my life, I’ve been very critical of how I look, when I can’t lose weight easily, and cried in my room more times than I could fathom over my clothes not fitting right, plus harming myself in more ways than one.

I am still talking to a therapist once a week, so she’s been very helpful as I slowly but surely unlearn all of those things.

Right now, I’m the biggest I’ve ever been, but I also have to remind myself that I went through some really tough months and I’m still in a recovery phase. It’s not perfect, some days are worse than others, but I’m still doing pretty well with it all and am slowly accepting myself where I am.

Continuing the Trek

I think the most important thing is that I’m in a better place than I was, while doing the work by talking to a therapist, taking care of myself, and not rushing back into everything at once.

Thankfully, I don’t have to go back to my doctor until November. She did say that if I felt that I didn’t need to be on the medication anymore to just let her know, but I don’t see myself stopping it any time soon.

I am still taking 50 mg and was worried I might have to up it at one point because I was feeling a little more anxious, but that did pass.

What’s To Come

I have more blog posts planned, so I hope to get back into blogging. I usually don’t post that much around this time of year. It’s not planned. It’s my annual writer’s block that comes back every year.

But as I’m getting out of the house more over the next few months, I plan on doing some more travel/experience posts, along with reviews.

If something changes, I may do another update post, but most likely won’t until my next doctor’s appointment, as things are going really well.

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